many bells down


Oh Sheer!
March 22, 2006, 5:26 pm
Filed under: Celebrity, Fashion

Dear K. Cav,

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(Click images to enlarge)   

I love you, I really do.  Sure, you were a major biatch on Laguna Beach, but your interviews in Teen People and Seventeen kind of made me think that it was all due to editing and that you really are a sweet girl with a good head on your shoulders. 

Deepening my love for you is your pretty good sense for fashion.  I really like this shirt – the cut is interesting and cute, and it looks good on you.  However, I’d like it even better if it wasn’t sheer.  Honey, I can see straight though that, and I’m pretty sure you walked out of the house knowing you were wearing the equivalent of mosquito netting cause that is in no way subtle.  If people look hard enough, they can see your nips

Honestly, how hard is it to ask your stylist to sew a bit of nude fabric in the breastises section of the shirt in the name of all that is holy and decent?  I know things both holy and decent are missing on the Hollywood scene, but I had bigger hopes for you.

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Aniston’s new Vogue shoot has male gymnastics theme.
March 15, 2006, 4:43 pm
Filed under: Celebrity, Fashion, Magazines

Click pictures to enlarge.

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The photoshoot from Jennifer Aniston’s Vogue cover story appears to be centered around male gymnastics and its equipment, which makes complete sense.  When I did gymnastics, I always wore really expensive designer duds and messed around on the opposite sex’s exercises!

Obviously I’m lying.  I don’t see anything particularly sexy or fashionable about the men’s rings, parallel bars, high bar or men’s gymnastics in general. (Unless we’re talking about Blaine Wilson, cause that dude is hawt.)  I don’t even find Jennifer Aniston particularly attractive in these photos.  The cover pic is completely unflattering, and it would have been nice to see something other than the side of her face/semi-profile thing she’s working on the inside photos (as entertaining as the third “I am cave woman, I throw spear, hear me roar” photo is). But I digress.   

I hate modernist “conceptual” photo shoots.  Bring back Keira Knightley and The Wizard of Oz shoot!  Now that was some beautiful photography.

[Photo Source]



take off all your preppy clothes.
March 7, 2006, 2:51 pm
Filed under: Celebrity, Fashion

Avril Lavigne is a Ford model!  Check out the pictures from her modeling card (click to enlarge).

avril-lavigne-ford-models-06.jpg     avril-lavigne-ford-models-04.jpg    avril-lavigne-ford-models-02.jpg    avril-lavigne-ford-models-01.jpg

You can see more at Egotastic.

I think it’s kind of funny how not too long ago, Avril was all “I’m punk rock!  Eff off bitches!” and now she’s all girly and wants to be a Ford model.  And yet she’s still engaged to that guy from Sum41.  So weird.

Still, I have to give credit where credit is due.  She looks hot!



More Oscar Fashions
March 7, 2006, 2:11 am
Filed under: Celebrity, Fashion

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Kate Bosworth showed up at the Vanity Fair Oscar party in her Victoria’s Secret Valentine’s Day teddy.  How nice!  I think she wants us to see her nips….

And Brittany Murphy wants us to catch a glimpse of her cooter. Could that slit go any higher?

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Probably, but in the event of a good breeze, I think this slit will do just the trick in leaving as little to the imagination as possible.

And to answer some comments on my last Oscar fashions post:  I agree about Salma.  Aie yai yai.  Rachel Weisz, however…I do believe she looked luminous because of her pregnancy and Oscar win, but her dress was so…plain and dowdy.  She could have done better, a la Gwyneth Paltrow when she was preggers with that little Apple.  I wasn’t impressed; it seemed uninspired.

Maybe there will be more to come…it depends on how bad it really gets!



Oscar’s Fashion Hits, Misses & Whatevs
March 6, 2006, 4:44 pm
Filed under: Celebrity, Fashion, Television

Everyone knows what really matters about the Oscars is not who won (although I’m thrilled that Crash took Best Picture; I didn’t see Brokeback but it’s hard to imagine a film that says more about the state of humanity than Crash) or what the winners said during their acceptance speeches (how cute was Reese’s speech though? Seriously! I love her).  What really matters is what people wore!  So here are my hits, misses and whatevs (meaning I wasn’t thrilled either way).

HITS

Jennifer Aniston

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I loved Jennifer Aniston’s dress.  I thought it was simple and classy.  I could have done without the necklace, but I just adored the clutch.  Very well put together overall.

Sandra Bullock

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This is an awful picture, but in person she looked much better!  The blue looked great on her and the up-‘do was very dignified.   I love the sheer fabric trend. 

Felicty Huffman

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I just thought Felicity Huffman looked gorgeous.  Her makeup was flawless, I loved the low bun and the shoes, and we all know I’m a fan of the classic black look.  She looked so beautiful, it made her transformation in TransAmerica even more incredible.  (If you haven’t seen it, you should.  It’s a little weird, but definitely a great film.)

I can’t find pictures of Salma Hayek’s dress anywhere, but I loved that too.  Bright blue, silk, off the shoulder…complimented her skin tone and hair very well.

Misses

Michelle Williams

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Okay, so the thing about Michelle Williams is this:  I love her.  I used to hate her when she played that ho Jen Lindley on Dawson’s Creek, she of the perpetually bad haircuts and affinity for breaking up Dawson and Joey.  Now, however, I can’t stand the sight of Katie Holmes, I mean Kate Cruise!  How times change.  Anyway, even though I love Michelle Williams, and even though she usually dresses beautifully, I cannot see how the dress even got close to the best dressed lists.  I swear, it’s the exact color of a Crayola crayon I used to hate and an even deeper yellow than a bottle of mustard.  Deep red lipstick with this yellow is just…no. No, I cannot abide by this.  We’ve got ketchup lips and mustard dress, not to mention the fact that it looks like if that collar got to flapping, Michelle Williams would fly away. It’s too much for me to handle.  Too much.  Time to go find a dark corner to rock back and forth in.

Lindsay Lohan

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She looks like she had her nanny sew up bits and pieces from her baby blanket and her table cloth to make that dress, then threw the runner from her bed over it just for fun.  Awful.  Don’t get me started on the hair and the fact that she looks like she’s about 40.  Oh Lindsay.

Keira Knightley

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Keira is so hit and miss.  Usually miss.  Here’s another dress that made the best dressed list, and I’m not sure why.  I think it might have been okay if not for the necklace and the mermaid fins at the bottom (isn’t this type of dress called a mermaid? or am I hopelessly wrong?).  Maybe I’m just bitter because my mom made me try on a dress with fins just like this for junior prom and it made me look unsightly in all the wrong places.  But I don’t think that’s it; I think I have a problem with it because fins belong in the ocean on fish or mermaids, not on my beloved Keira (who was fantastic in Pride & Prejudice, by the way).

Hilary Swank

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Yeah, this ensemble needs a necklace.  And maybe a bit more fabric to cover the nips just in case the double tape she used to secure that thing decided not to be as sticky as usual.

Melissa George

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“Hello, my name is Melissa George.  I used to be on Alias but my husband on the show killed my ass to save the love of his life, so I had to do that remake of Amityville Horror.  I wasn’t even nominated for an Oscar – I was robbed, I tell you! – so I decided that even though my dress is kind of cute, I was just going to roll out of bed, throw it on and leave my hair as is – you know, up, but with all the pieces falling out and sticking up.  So eff you Academy!  I don’t need your stupid Oscar.  Melissa George is doing just fine on her own.”

Charlize Theron

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As my favorite crack addict Whitney Houston would say, “hell to the no!”  I’m not even sure removing the giant, 80s-inspired bow from the shoulder would save this thing.  I mean, I’m glad we’re not dealing with taffeta here, or else it would be a whole lot worse, but even so…It looks like it doesn’t fit on the hip, or like those strips indicate she’s in the first stages of mummification (albeit in green silk, not toilet paper, which I suppose is a step up).  I just…don’t have words.

Whatevs.

Jessica Alba

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I guess this dress was pretty?  I don’t know, it doesn’t do much for me.  Taken separately, the pieces are nice enough.  The top makes her breastises look a bit small, though.  I mean, really really teeny.  It’s just weird.

Jennifer Garner

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This dress is forgettable, but I love me some JG, so I just had to include her.  How cute was it when she slipped, curtseyed and said, “Thanks, I do my own stunts?”  Loves it!

 

[Photo Source, Photo Source]



Ooh La Lohan
February 24, 2006, 8:06 pm
Filed under: Celebrity, Fashion

lohan.jpgDear Lindsay Lohan,

Please tell me where you got that jacket, because I am in love with it, and must have it right now, no matter what the cost.

I’d also like to know where you procured your hat.  You see, I have a thing for hats.  I have a thing for that hat.

I’m not really diggin’ the whole About-To-Hit-Up-An-Equiestrian-Competition thing you’ve got going on with your pants tucked into your boots (will someone please explain that trend to me?), but I will forgive you ’cause in addition to your awesome hat and jacket, your bag also rocks.  So well done overall.

Love,  Erin

PS – Please keep your hair dark.  It so works for you.

Yeah…that’s it.  Except my mother used to make me read this book when I was younger, about the gimme-gimme-gimme monster and how greedy he was, and he may even have been unable to share.  I think I was supposed to take a life lesson from that, maybe “Don’t be greedy cause it’s not nice” or something like that.  Clearly it didn’t work.

[Photo Source]



Masse designs stand out from the crowd
February 23, 2006, 5:31 pm
Filed under: Fashion

suzanne dress.jpgI fell in love with Melissa Masse’s Kitten Dress when it was featured on One Tree Hill.  Have you ever seen something and known you had to have it?  Well, that happens to me all the time.  A visit to Masse’s website revealed a plethora of styles just as adorable as the Kitten Dress. I was in an incredibly stylish, incredibly chic heaven.

What makes Masse’s line so appealing is that it’s customizable. In her Los Angeles store, the clothes can be bought off-the-rack, altered to a client’s proportions or custom-made. Those of us outside the L.A. area might not be able custom fittings, but a handy size chart emailed to you upon inquiry will help you determine your size. Order by phone is easy and shipping is speedy!

Masse’s Spring and Summer 2006 lines are punctuated by unique designs and fun, funky patterns, incorporating the best of West and East Coast fashion sensibilities. My favorite is, of course, the Kitten Dress, the perfect “little black dress” that’s both sexy and comfortable (how many dresses can claim that?). It has the added benefit of being timeless – meaning it will work in many seasons for a long time to come. I’m also dying to add the Perfect Dress (Spring 2006) and the Suzanne Dress (Summer 2006, pictured above left) to my collection. Now I just have to save up so I can afford them!

[Photo Source]